Two Indians, One Thai Boy, Three Wolves and One Goofy Dog = Family?

Society can present some rather straight, starched, staid and pointed definitions when describing “family” – kinda like what makes a “family” -- at least in America -- is set in stone. After this year’s Christmas/New Year Holidays I find myself prone to challenge the accepted definition of the word.

Twenty years ago when I was going through a rough life change I became friends with a part-Indian man. He was a neighbor with a generous heart and a penchant for kindness. We shared an Indian heritage among other things and in time – and very slowly – that friendship became a deep and abiding love which sustains to this day. We’ve never married, shared a home or made any attempt to live together – we just are.

We have worked together on many projects – our own and those of others – shared our respective family members with one another and always dreamed great dreams and planned adventures together – some of which have materialized and some that are yet to come.

My Indian man’s name is Tall Horse and that’s more than fitting as he’s 6’4” tall, and works harder, faster and more intently than anyone I’ve known in my lifetime. He may also be the most intelligent man I’ve ever met. He can design, build, repair, or invent nearly anything he or anyone else can think up and is an electronic and mechanical genius. He was managing an entire electronics business when he was 17-years-old and has worked all his life.

He restores old automobiles. He’s a master at the artifact and antique business internationally -- be it buying, selling or refinishing. If I had to name one individual that was totally involved in living, doing and experiencing what life has to offer it would be this man. He loves art, music and critters but his huge and magnificent expertise is with people be they saints or sinners, rich or poor, he draws people to him like a magnet. They share their joys, sorrows, health, problems, and he welcomes them all as his giving nature knows no bounds. I’ve heard him counsel through the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Indian Grandfathers. His faith is unshakeable and his spirituality runs very deep.

Tall Horse owns three wolves – all beautiful and totally devoted to him. They weren’t all beautiful when they came to him as he’s involved in wolf rescue through the tribes. One lady wolf was in particularly bad shape when she was adopted by Tall Horse. She was devoid of hair, down to skin and bones, had been sorely mistreated and beaten and for all intents and purposes was used like a puppy mill. Her survival was iffy at best but Tall Horse nurtured and nursed her back to life and she’s now an absolutely stunning creature. To this day, however, bad memories occasionally return or something will alarm her and she becomes wild-eyed, nervous and terrified.

When she becomes anxious or distraught Tall Horse scoops her up in his arms and goes to the floor with her where he holds her very close to his body and soothes her with massage and kind, quiet words. His method never fails to work as she’ll become calm and settled again. One can only surmise where an emotionally scarred and physically mistreated wolf would have wound up without him. Folks aren’t standing in line to take on a fighting, biting, snarling, sick wolf and the time, patience and energy it takes is too much for most.

All the wolves recognize Tall Horse as their leader of the pack and defer to his wishes willingly. He tells me he’s been challenged seriously on two occasions and it was quite a fight – but he came out victorious. I’m told, among wolves there is usually only one leader -- and believe it or not it’s always a female. Tall Horse has two female wolves and one male and although the male makes noises like dominance he’s very quick to defer to the “female in charge” when she becomes insistent! They all defer to Tall Horse now with no prompting whatsoever.

Tall Horse is also a host parent for exchange students. This school year his student is “Jonathan” -- a young man from Thailand. Jonathan was placed in another Texas home initially and proved to be too much for his first host parents as he has horrible eating habits and can be very withdrawn and reclusive. He’s seems an intelligent 15-year-old child but might understandably be a huge challenge for a “dinner every night exactly at six” household. When the exchange student organization called Tall Horse and told him Jonathan needed a new host home – where he either had to make it or return to Thailand within a week -- there was no question as to Tall Horse taking him.

Jonathan will soon celebrate his sixteenth birthday yet is a rather immature youngster. I understand he does well in school. He will interact when engaged in conversation (he speaks fluent and correct English) but is primarily interested in computers, electronics, games and the internet. He would stay on the internet 24/7 if permitted to do so and has to be coaxed away for meals. He’s a handsome child and adores name brand merchandise – no off-brand junk for him! He received a gorgeous leather jacket from his host father for Christmas and after looking at the label said "thank you" and did try it on.

When Jonathan came to Tall Horse he’d eat Top Ramen Noodle Soups (yep, those things you pour boiling water in that come in a plastic cup) and that was it. He now eats hamburgers, French Fries, macaroni and cheese, steak, scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits – so this is a huge improvement. He’ll eat lots of catsup on anything but doesn’t even come close to accepting any vegetable or fruit in any fashion.

It seems Jonathan’s parents are both pharmacists in Thailand and apparently quite well-to-do as Jonathan says he has three maids at his house that do his bidding. Of course one has to ascertain whether three maids are a big deal in Thailand or not as it’s our understanding that the maids work for food to feed their own families and are not paid money as one would pay an employee in this country. It’s been quite a challenge for Tall Horse to teach Jonathan to do his own laundry, pick up after himself, etc. as this is definitely a child that’s never had responsibility of any kind.

He’s even taught him to scramble his own eggs. Seems he made a disparaging remark about his host father’s scrambled eggs one morning and was thereafter relegated to scrambling them himself! I was still having coffee one morning as Jonathan carefully and with great intent whipped up his eggs prior to scrambling. When they are at a certain point of “frothy” he adds copious amounts of soy sauce, whips a bit more and then scrambles them so they’re brown and crispy on both sides. I’m told he cooks them to “brown and crispy” but I don’t know that for sure. I left the kitchen when he added the soy sauce as I’m not known for a strong stomach early in the morning.

Warm weather must always prevail in Thailand as no matter how cold it is in East Texas Jonathan will be wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip flops in the house (and outside if he can slide it by adults). It takes great patience to get him dressed in proper clothing to go out in public in East Texas winter weather. In fact, the three of us went to Wal-Mart to peruse the after Christmas sales one afternoon and neither Tall Horse nor I noticed Jonathan was wearing flip-flops in freezing weather until we got in the store and sure enough -- he was clip-clopping along. He was, however, proudly wearing his new leather jacket and it was pulled up around his ears!

So, we have Tall Horse (pretty much an Indian any way you figure it), three rescued wolves and a somewhat strange boy from Thailand – an interesting little group all on its own. Then add me and my goofy, big, black dog, Bubba, who was a year old at Thanksgiving. Bubba and I were invited to come for Christmas and stay through New Year’s – which we did. Bubba the dog had never been away from his own home and back yard so there was a challenge all by itself. Having three wolves on the premises didn’t exactly encourage me as to Bubba’s health and well being once we got there.

As 2011 was a very strange and hurtful year for me I think Tall Horse hoped he could at least start my 2012 on a better footing. Why else would one man take on such a strange group to cope with and cook for – for nine days? His generosity and kindness proved to be somewhat of a stroke of genius. I must admit, however, it’s not the first time I’ve seen him work his magic with folks from all backgrounds and walks of life.

Within 24 hours of Bubba the Dog and I arriving (it was also Bubba’s first long vehicle trip) we had melded into a strange but workable little family unit. Bubba is shy by nature and within hours he was following Tall Horse everywhere he went. Jonathan helped me get the lights on and decorate the Christmas tree. The three of us person types went Christmas shopping and planned a dinner party for seven other folks without a place to be at Christmas. We called it “The Outlaw Christmas Party” and when we were all seated at the table on Christmas Day our ages ranged from 15 to 85 – quite a diverse group of happy people.

One evening, as our visit progressed, one of the lady wolves was invited into the house and Bubba Dog was immediately and passionately in love. The lady wolf was nice to him and willing to play but made it clear immediately she was not into a love fest! Quite frankly, I was pleased and happy she didn’t eat him alive and just leave one big, black ear on the floor.

The wolves, as a pack, seemed pleased and happy I was there again as they vied for my attention in the back yard and I got oodles of good, slurpy wolf kisses. I was very grateful they took turns stepping on my toes. As they’re huge it’s rather painful when they all vie for attention at once as one’s feet take a terrible stomping and could easily turn into toe-mincemeat.

We cooked, we ate, we drank, we decorated, we laughed, we shopped, we hung out – all the things any family does when everyone gets together and joins in for the holidays – and there was not one drop of common blood among us (well, perhaps the wolves as there is a sister/brother duo). I’ve spent holidays with blood family and never felt more a part of things, included, accepted, wanted – and yes, loved – than I did this very unusual Holiday Season.

All the elements involved in this little gathering of different entities were indeed part of the strange, the foreign, the wild, and the heritage of this great country of ours – a melting pot, so to speak. A silly black dog was as important as the unique and beautiful wolves. An exchange student from Thailand was honored as though among his own family. The once mistreated wolves were kings in their own, safe, castle. A grieving heart was lightened by fun, companionship and anticipation of what might happen next.

Perhaps the strangest and most enlightening of all is one half-breed Indian with a huge heart and an ongoing dream brought all the parts of this magical season together and made it happen for those of us who might have had nothing happening at all.

Tall Horse and I have often laughed and said we’ll both always live best on the fringes of society – and for the most part that’s true as we’ll never be “main stream.” Yet, for a few days the furry, the foreign, and the dreamers spent a magical time together under one roof. We shared, cared, and were totally involved in the lives of one another. In the final analysis love and generosity of spirit are what makes a family – and for nine special days this Holiday Season – unorthodox as we may have appeared (and in reality are) -- three wolves, a black dog, a teenage boy from Thailand, and two half-breed Indians were the happy family of Tall Horse, Indian Medicine Man.

AngelaBlair©2012